Appearing NAKED at my kids School!!!!

I Can’t believe I just did that….This is one of the most dumbass things I’ve ever done!!!

My children came home from school the other day with some homework. It involved the family researching an artist and producing a piece of art showing the information.

My children love Roald Dahl and decided it would be cool to do a picture featuring the illustrator of all his books. The artists name is Quentin Blake and we all decided it would be creative to produce a mindmap that related to different areas of Quentin’s life and work. We spent ages collecting pictures to stick on it and drew a colourful mindmap.

The mindmap was nearly done and my kids were really impressed and it was looking great.

We all agreed that the final piece of the picture would be a self portrait of how we each thought Quentin would draw ourselves. My wife went first and drew a caricature of herself followed by my daughter who also did a great job.   Next was my turn…..I flicked Roald Dahl’s book open looking for some inspiration and this is where it all started going wrong!!! The story that I stopped at was of ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’. Now this is a great story but the problem was that the illustration on the page was of the king standing their butt naked in all his glory.

For a laugh I casually suggested that I draw myself as the naked king in the picture just to see what kind of response I would get. To my surprise they all said that would be great!!!!!  I have to admit that no one was really paying that much attention to me at this moment because our next door neighbour was round and they were in deep conversation. Anyway, the idea grew on me and I thought it would be creative, and a bit different

, so I started to draw. I must admit I was very pleased with the finished product. I then held up the paper and showed everyone my handywork. My daughter shrieked and shouted

“Oh my god dad’s REALLY done the butt naked guy”!!!!!!!

For a couple of minutes it was quiet funny.

But quickly the reality of what I had done began to sink in.

Firstly – The project has to be handed in tomorrow so there’s no time to scrap it and start again.

Secondly – The picture was not just some piece of homework, they were all going to be exhibited in the school at a ‘proper’ art exhibition. The school headmistress will be

showing everyone at the school what each family has created. (just hope my kids are proud of my self portrait)

Thirdly – It wouldn’t be so bad if my kids were at senior school but they are only 9 and 10 years old. I’m beginning to get a bit worried about the kind of reaction I’m going to

get from the other parents, for painting a naked picture of myself to be displayed in a junior / primary school.

My only other option is to go and paint a pair of ‘undies’ on the Emperor. However, this might be even harder to explain as I can’t remember anywhere in the story about the Emperor ever having worn Calvin Klein boxers.

Hope you found this post amusing  and don’t forget to leave me a comment especially if you like  my artistic talent!!!

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